Up and down weekend. Busy. Typical of life.
Friday night I babysat my niece and nephew and they wanted to play a game. And handed me this.
I had to chuckle to myself because this was the only way I would have a “family”. So we played the game and it was fun but even at such young ages, it was interesting to watch the thought pattern of how children view life. Listening to them talk during the game about how we are supposed to have babies and families reminded me of when I was their age, playing house or with dolls who got married and had a baby. It really does seem innate, doesn’t it?
Saturday we went to a housewarming party for one of my husband’s coworkers. Such a cute house and loved her eclectic sense of decorating. Made me realize how much I’ve slipped away from the old me. Less worries and not sweating the small stuff. The place was brimming with creativity that I needed to soak up. It was also where we saw the former coworker who I made a baby blanket for. Twice. With the second one wrapping up right after we failed our fourth IVF. I turned around and gave an enthusiastic “hey!” and you would of thought I had the plague. Oh that’s right, I forgot, I have infertility plague! A condition that renders all fertile people speechless and scrambling away awkwardly. I don’t think she talked to either of us the entire night, and she was the only one who brought kids to this party. Sigh.
Sunday I finished a major painting project at my mom and stepdad’s new place. We’ve been working on repainting their entire house before they move in, along with other major projects. It’s been going on for what seems like months but we finally turned a corner and we are hoping they get in by Christmas. I am so happy for them and can not wait to see it all come together.
Sunday I also went for a much needed run. It wasn’t as good as the outing I had earlier in the week, but the fact that I pushed myself to get out there despite being tired and in the cold and wind felt like a great accomplishment. I told myself this is how it is for now. I’ll have some good outings and some not so good while I work out this back pain issue. Some days the weather will cooperate and some days not. That’s life. That’s how it goes.
As we head into the holiday season, I am just going to do my best to be a better person and keep my chip up and get through it all as unscathed as possible. We are hosting Thanksgiving this year and should have a full house. This includes my stepsister’s family, with 7 kids. Three of his, two of hers, two of theirs. I cringe a little but it’s the right thing to do and it will mean a lot to my stepdad. Chin up! You can do this!
And I really want to enjoy December. It’s always a rough one for us, for so many reasons beyond infertility. I’m actually looking forward to decorating and getting the gifts and treats ready. I have new recipes I want to try and new goodies I want to make, possibly even for gifts in cute little tins. I want to let the power of creativity help us get through all the difficult stuff life throws our way. And I want to enjoy time with my husband. Our life. Together.