My step-brother and his wife who used Christmas to announce they were expecting, had also decided to use Easter to announce the gender of their baby. Awesome. To be fair, I get it, they’re excited. But using two holidays so that everyone could be there seems a bit much. We don’t see them often to begin with and if any of us had news like this, I don’t think we’d wait to find a time to include all these extended family members outside of our parents.
My mom gave me a heads up about a week ago that they kept asking the plans for Easter and that they wanted to bring a cake. I knew immediately where she was going with this and I had to then explain to her how the whole ridiculous thing works. She said she’s never heard of such a thing and I said well you can blame today’s social media and pinterest for that. We both thought it seemed odd that the wife’s side wouldn’t be over to witness and that’s when I told mom I’ll bet they do this twice which is dumb because in “round two,” the expecting parents will already know the answer. Now it’s just going through the motions for another “show” for the rest of us.
As we walked in the door at my mom’s house, she started again with, “I’m giving you a heads up…” I’m like now what? She said that stepdaughter’s family was now coming over on a moment’s notice. The family comprised of children from three different fathers who “never celebrate Easter” would be there soon. It’s always loud, rambunctious, and a huge reminder of how life can be so unfair to “bless” some people with children but not others. Great.
Within the first three minutes of their arrival, it was announced that she left home without bringing diapers and would have to run out to get some. This was followed by more chaos and kids screaming “no!” when being instructed on what to do. We were in for a real treat.
I was planning not to be there. I know that may sound selfish but there are some days when I know I can’t handle this, and already knew this would be one of those days. But as other family members were sick and possibly not going to make it and with my mom fussing, planning and cleaning the house and how important the holidays are to her, I decided to suck it up and go.
When does this go away? When do I stop feeling like the elephant in the room, ruining joyous occasions for others? When do I stop feeling like a rotten B for feeling this way?
So the cake was cut and cake-round-two-not-so-surprise, they’re having a girl. I still have a tough time when remembering that just a year ago, my stepbrother seemed to want nothing to do with children and now here we are. Change of heart and just like that, blessed. When telling us how they had to look up all the girl names that they were considering, to make sure they weren’t porn names, I had to leave the room.
I will never, ever understand the rationale of who gets the privilege of becoming parents.